Sunday, November 18, 2012

Walking and Trusting In Myself While Letting Others Help Me

"Who will you run to when it all falls down, Who's gonna pick your world up off the ground,
Who's gonna take away the tears you cry" -- Heart (From the Song Who Will You Run To)

    Well I am back again for the second time tonight I guess a dam burst in my head after I posted the last Blog because I got suddenly hit with this really good inspiration I just had to share.

     As some of you know I have had troubles and problems recently some are good and done and others drag on. Among the one I have let drag on is my car is not working; it hasn't been for awhile. I put a new starter in and it was all I could afford so when it didn't work and appeared to be the alternator I sunk as I couldn't afford to put anything else into it. I almost kissed it all good bye. I let the fact I couldn't afford to put anything else into it dictate my life and future. I couldn't see my kids I even considered them gone forever as I am so far from them and those who should bend a little are selfish and give me only Sundays to see them even though I have when I had the car tried to arrange a Tuesday or Thursday visit. I have been withdrawn a bit and kept building on the improbable rather than the possible. I couldn't see past the fact I had no money to get the car fixed so when others kept asking if I needed help and offering it over and over again I just blew them off and sunk deeper into the fact I believed it would never get fixed (still isn't but as you will see I am better) I kept put every offer off and even considered putting the car up for sale as scrap or a fixer upper. I was only looking for the reality I thought I had to accept; I was a fool and I know it; otherwise why would people keep asking and wanting to help me get it going? Why, well because they care and want me to be able to get around and that includes seeing my kids who I miss dearly, and these people know it. So Today I decided to take a risk and let someone who had offered to help do so. He said not to worry about the cost he'd take care of that and he knew someone who was good with cars and they are coming by tomorrow and hopefully by this time next week I will have wheels again. BUT part of me is still going this is problem 2 and they always come in 3's and the next one will be worse and kill me. I say "You Bring It, I'll Deal" to that voice. Right now I am climbing the hill before me again.

     Before I close I do want to point out there has been an up side to this I am Walking more than ever and my health is improving from all the blood going through my Heart. I am enjoying the freedom of movement I have and I might just might miss walking to work at least 3x's a week. Yes, the weather is getting colder with rain and snow but I am having a grand time walking through the city racing myself to see if I can make it to home or work before the 1 hour mark. So I think no matter what happens I am going to keep walking more and more like I did in my youth and I enjoy doing while hiking in the late Spring to early Fall. Exercise is good. But A Car Is Better and Even Beyond is People who Care enough to keep asking "How are You Doing?" and not taking the hint I have blow them off so they keep coming back till I am no longer Stubborn and/or Blue.

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